Essay Title: 

Moderating Conflict

Moderating Conflict



Moderating Conflict

According to Barrosse (2007 ,

.210 ) there are three main ways to deal with conflict : Try to change the other party , try to alter the conflict conditions , [or changing] your own communication and /or perceptions ‘ Each of these methods is employed by the average person when faced with conflict however they are not all equally successful when it comes to actually moderating a difference of opinion . When it comes to taking control of uncomfortable situations , one is certainly better off avoiding the first [banner_entry_middle]


Trying to change the person you are dealing with so that they see your point of view is a natural response [and is] usually highly unsuccessful (Barrosse , 2007 ,

.210 . We are all inclined to be stubborn about our own situation , and even though a compromise would generally calm the other party and afford peace , we as humans are quite unwilling to let our side of the story slip past unnoticed . The fact is unless we get over this natural tendency to advocate our own viewpoint there is no such thing as effective conflict moderation . When people are forced to see the other side of the argument through authoritative measures , a subterranean resentment and desire to retaliate may well emerge (ibid

It is no accident that Aristotle wrote about the `Golden Mean ‘ and Buddha preached about the `Middle Way (Barrosse , 2007 ,

.214 . These great philosophers understood that without compromise , there is no moving forward without finding a middle ground between differing parties we will all remain isolated and controlled by our own dogged opinions . When we employ the second method of conflict moderation – trying to change the conditions of the disagreement – we are attempting neither to find a middle ground nor to `win ‘ the dispute . Changing the situation is merely a way of trying to disengage from the conflict , and quickly . This can work on a superficial level , in that the situation is handled speedily , but it may backfire and leave the other party resenting you for changing the rules . This type of behaviour can be classified as avoidance , according to Barrosse , and when you engage the other [party] in productive conversation , you will find that (1 your behaviour is being misinterpreted by the other and (2 ) your perception of the other is skewed (2007 ,

.216 . Changing the circumstances surrounding a conflict is really not a proactive form of moderation , since by engaging in clear conversation you can take control of the dispute and work towards a solution

The final resolution method – changing your own communication or perceptions – is truly the most successful tactic you can use . The fact is that conflict parties may know that they want to engage but not know how to start (Barrosse , 2007 ,

.217 . Taking charge in these situations requires understanding and patience , which may be difficult for many people , but it is nevertheless necessary for successful conflict resolution . Many people struggle with restraint : this includes the difficult task of holding back… [banner_entry_footer]


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