Essay Title: 

College application essay

March 29, 2016 | Author: | Posted in application essay, education

Hi Henry

I have chiselled the one down and beefed up the other as you said Take a look and see what you think . I haven ‘t added a lot as we are a tad over the word count . But not so much that it would be penalised

Jody

Hi Jody

Thank you for you help and I understand it was a short notice . I really like your revision , the content flows very well and it touches on the main aspects about my life

Two areas I need help

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) The open ended answer is a bit too long ( by over 150 words ) and we need to to shorten it to comply with the 600 words . I like everything about it and it is difficult for me to choose a specific area to shorten . I have read it over and over and can ‘t find a specific area to shrink . I need your herlp

2 )Also , I feel that under the academic preparation ‘ we could probably add more information about my career training (within 200 words

Let me know if you have any questions or sugestions , at the moment I am glue to the computer

Once again , thank you

Henry

Hi Henry

I just got this assignment and have tried to do my best to add to what you and the previous writer put together . I do hope what I came up with is acceptable . feel free to give me any feedback if you would like something changed

Jody (your new writer

Academic Preparation My preparations for studies at UC have been in the making ever since I was a young boy growing up in Mexico City . Coming to the States at the age of 16 , I enrolled in high school immediately . While learning and maintaining a respectable GPA , I took English courses on the side in to improve my prospects of success in school and in the community Studying in a language that was not my own was a challenge , but I was determined . I finished high school with a 3 .0 GPA , but financial restrictions prevented me from attending college

The events that have led me to where I am today have been part of a beautiful adventure . From studying French at the Sorbonne in Paris to working and studying Japanese in Japan , I have always sought out knowledge and information . In addition to a wide range of career opportunities in the IT industry , I have also found time to volunteer – I am a board member for an organization which broadens access to technology for low-income people

My formal post-secondary education has been challenged by personal family tragedies and financial difficulties , yet the desire to overcome has never left me . Today , I am free of any impediments that would stand in my way of education . I am ready to devote my energy to studies and the pursuit of life-long learning

Potential to Contribute

I have had the pleasure of living and working in some of the… [banner_entry_footer]

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